Friday, August 28, 2009

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.


To My Dear Dogs:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, howl, or try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required.

And finally, a very important item - The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

With all my love,
Dorothy (aka mom)

Thanks to my sister, Sharon

1 comment:

  1. While these two pups were not rescued pups I think it only fair to tell you that they are having a pretty tough time right now. The Yorkie was just diagnosed with Diabetes and the Maltese has bladder stones that are causing her great discomfort and will, most likely, need to be surgically removed. And will recurr every three years or so. Dakota, the Yorkie, is also showing some signs of pancreatitis, although the Vet is keeping a positive mindset about this....She is such a baby but trying to be a trooper. All in all, we are having a rough time right now as the Maltese also has horrific allergies (we live in FL) and is always itching something. But they bring us such joy, just wish we could make it all go away for them....

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